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Why do I Love Her? (Lima Uhibbuha​?​)

from Why Do I Love Her? by Reem Kelani

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about

A Diaspora Palestinian, I visited Palestine for the first time in 1972 when I was nine years old. A wedding I attended in the village of Nein outside Nazareth was a seminal point in my life. It was my awakening, and it made me recognise and take pride in my identity and my musical heritage.

But for some reason I still can’t fully explain, almost every time I visit, I end up falling ill.

I have always been part mesmerized and part spooked by the experience. By day, I’m unable to rest and by night, I’m unable to sleep. I often get a paralysing sense of ‘free-floating’ anxiety mixed with sweet discomfort. The feeling of estrangement is heightened when in a car at night, and I see intertwined roads and villages brutally sectioned by settlement clusters, illegal under international law.

My relationship with my relatives in Palestine is the strongest, possibly even stronger than that with my direct family. For all that, I feel overwhelmed when I’m with them, and utterly lost when I’m away from them.

The last time I visited Palestine in 2013 was one of my toughest. I was beset by illness, which meant cancelling engagements with a multitude of aunts and uncles and languishing in bed, amid a sea of emotions.
Upon my return, the illness worsened. The lyrics of this song were penned whilst I was in hospital awaiting a procedure in the middle of the night, isolated from everyone, both physically and metaphorically.

This song is dedicated to Palestinian activist and pharmacist Basel al-Araj (1984-2017). He was assassinated by the Israeli forces on 6 March 2017. In a much quoted phrase, al-Araj once noted: “If you wish to be an intellectual, then be an engaged one. If you don’t wish to be engaged, we need neither your person nor your intellectualism.” I couldn’t agree more.

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from Why Do I Love Her?, released November 30, 2018
Lyrics & music: Reem Kelani (MCPS)

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Reem Kelani London, UK

Reem Kelani is an independent artist. Please buy Reem’s music & support her work.
Get your copy of Reem's 2022 EP release "The Singer Said: Bird of Dawn". Reem's amazing booklet comes with the download!

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